Only You Have a Say in how Your Life Turns Out

This month has been a momentous one in the Nelson family; our youngest child is graduating from high school and middle college. As a parent, I couldn’t be prouder. All of my kids have graduated, they are all employed or employable, and they have either started or completed their college studies. They all have integrity, direction and ownership of life; they know what it means to be unstoppable and responsible and they care about other people. My kids are way cool, and most important of all, they still talk to me and their mom!As we usher one era out and begin another one, it has become abundantly clear to my wife and me that it is more than time to put the plan for what’s next for US into action. Sunday afternoon the flip-chart easel stand came out, and we had a Nelson family board meeting. The co-presidents of the Board, my wife and I, were in attendance, and with a new sense of freedom and commitment to being active in this new phase of life, we have implemented the following:

• Date nights once a week
• Regular fitness and exercise goals
• Taking advantage of the educational offerings in the Santa Barbara area at least 2 times a month, including the local speakers featured regularly at the colleges
• Entertaining at home once a month
• Going to the beach 2 times a week
• Walking our English bulldog, Hitch, in our neighborhood 7 days a week after 6 PM
• Eating healthier
• Practice smiling more
• Planning Alaskan fishing trips, family geology trips, and overnight motorcycle rides
• And many others!

This list along with specific dates and actions are now posted on a wall of our home for every family member to see and be present to.What’s the point of sharing all of this with you? While the list reads like normal activities that couples share in, the point in sharing it with you is plain and simple: To encourage you, no matter what stage your life is at, to be in action!Now don’t go getting all indignant wondering, “Who says I’m not in action and living a great life?” There is no right or wrong inside of this conversation. The late George Carlin hit the nail on the head when he said we tend to view our lives and our advancing years in the following way:

"Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key. You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life! You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone. But wait!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and make it to 60. You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!”

In other words, the older we get the narrower our view of the world and what is possible for us becomes, and in actuality, our view should be the exact opposite! Just imagine how cool it would be to live life with the exuberance of that 4-1/2 year old no matter how old you are!We’ve got to stop living our lives from a place of: “My life is whatever percent over. Now what do I do?” We can’t stop participating in life because our kids graduate. We can’t stop participating in life because we are retired. We can’t stop participating in life because we are unclear about, or afraid of, what’s next for us and the world as a whole.We have a responsibility not only to ourselves, but to the generations behind us to lead outrageous lives, to be in committed action with a direction, to not be stopped by anything or anyone! If we don’t show our children how to be all of these things, how will they learn how to be in action and play full-out themselves?Now more than ever we are under the microscope of our children. We are being watched and it is time to live what we speak. It is time to do what we’ve told our kids to do from the very beginning… it is time to be in committed action with a direction! We’ve got to stop just thinking about how we want our lives to be and get present to what we are going to do to create an outrageous life that we love, have a plan and a solid direction, and go for it with the passion of a 4-1/2 year old!There are people rolling over and giving up all over the place. Overwhelm and the blahs are getting the best of them, and I’m not immune either! I have days where I’d rather pack up the camping gear and live in a cave, but I’ve got a responsibility to myself, my family, my clients, and every one I meet to make a difference, be a positive example, and have an outrageous life. Otherwise, why have I been blessed with the life and the gifts I’ve been blessed with?You have your gifts and blessings too – the fact we have breath is a gift in and of itself! So, if you have been slowed down for whatever reason and are ready to get restarted, what are you waiting for? All it takes to get into action is: 1) commitment 2) solid direction (a plan) and 3) accountability.How do you implement these steps?Get out a notepad – a napkin in a coffee shop will even do – and begin writing a plan (even a simple list) of what you want to do and dates by-when you are going to do each item. Then give that list to a friend or two (and your coach – hint, hint!) and ask them to hold you accountable for doing what you have written down. From there it is all about you being in committed action everywhere. It really is no more difficult than that!Remember: Only you have a say in how your life turns out. No one can ruin your day—your life—without your permission.Warm Regards,