Real Talk
As adults who survived our teenage years, it can be absolutely painful watching the teenagers in our lives navigate relationships. They are awkward – and full and complete communication? Well, let’s just say it rarely exists. Throw in the added spotlight and pressure that social media brings to a relationship, and you have one hot mess!
Navigating the waters of dating was hard enough when I was in high school and college, and we didn’t have the 24/7 pressure of cell phones, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. There was no trying to read between the lines of a 140-character post on Twitter or having everyone question why you have yet to post about your significant other on TikTok.
If someone wanted to talk to me they had to pick up a telephone and fret about who they had to go through in order to get me on the line (i.e. my dad!). And, Heaven forbid they called after 9:00 PM! If we wanted to get to know each other, we had to actually speak to one another, without worrying about which emoji should be used to punctuate a statement.
Teenagers, communication, and relationships have been hot topics in our household in recent years. In fact, I wrote the tips below when helping my daughter prepare for a conversation with her boyfriend a while back. Funny thing is, whether you are a teenager working to figure out how relationships work, an adult who’s been married for decades, or a person in need of a heart-to-heart with your best friend, these tips for communicating heart-to-heart are important for all of us to remember.
Be present: leave your phone in another room and give your full attention.
Say what you need to say: don't leave anything unsaid. And, give the other person room to do the same.
Listen fully and completely: not just with your head but with your heart too. Don't assume you know what the other is going to say or where the conversation is leading.
Ask questions: if you don't understand something, ask for clarity.
Be gentle with them: don't speak in anger or say anything you'll later regret.
Be gentle with yourself: there is no right or wrong/good or bad when dealing with feelings.
Don't burn a bridge: regrets are a terrible thing.
What tips would you add to this list?
Please comment or send me an email! I'd love to hear what you would add.