Leadership Essential: Forgiveness

[Forgiveness is] a deliberate act on our part. Revenge evens the score; forgiveness wins the game."

—Family Walk

Especially for leaders, forgiveness and the ability to forgive on their feet is absolutely essential. They have to forgive in the moment when someone does or says something that offends or hurts them; forgive when someone fails to be their word or messes up on the job, and most importantly leaders have to forgive themselves! Forgiveness is crucial to not wasting precious time or energy being resentful or resisting the urge to not trust and do it all yourself, again. And there is always a lot of forgiving that needs to be done!Forgiveness is about regaining your power. That’s right! As long as you are resentful, the person or circumstance that you are resentful of, or you are beating yourself up over, has power over you; you become a captive rather than the leader you are designated to be! When you forgive, you reestablish control over your life and reclaim your personal power. You give up the stress that carrying resentment or hurt creates, and you give yourself an immediate benefit of stress relief.You can make the choice to forgive even in the face of your feelings, including your fears. Forgiveness means you are willing to be vulnerable again… to take the risk... and give up being a victim, to stop beating yourself or others up, and give up being right.

Forgiving on your feet takes practice.

It may seem difficult at first, but the way to improve your ability to forgive is to practice, practice, and practice some more! You’ve probably noticed that life gives you several opportunities every day to forgive on your feet—not knowing the "right" thing to do in a critical situation and falling behind because of your hesitation, the banker cutting off your line of credit, being cut off on the freeway, the restaurant server taking too long to bring your check to the table, your son spilling a gallon of juice on the carpet, a member of your executive team losing a major account… you get the idea! So every time you recognize a new hurt or anger, practice choosing in that moment to let go of it quickly. You simply have to practice choosing a forgiving attitude.

Great leaders forgive quickly.

Leaders know that giving over their energy to resentment or a grudge robs them of their ability to lead effectively. They have to forgive and move on in order to stay the course and get what they say they want, by-when they say they want it.Leaders know forgiveness is 100% their responsibility. The power of forgiveness lies in the fact that it has NOTHING to do with the other person. Forgiveness is for, and all about, YOU! It's about you giving up hurt and your judgments of yourself and others. It's a precious gift you give to yourself, your self-esteem, and to your relationships with everyone. Forgiveness is 100% your responsibility and you are 100% in control.Consider making a conscious effort to be more forgiving not just to others, but to yourself as well. In doing so, you will find your heart lighter, your head much, much clearer, and your ability to lead effortlessly that much greater.